Re: Myclone stories thread
Siggy,
FYI, I picked up the red neckmobile yesterday and should start the ensuing restoration next week. Lots of little things that I knew pictures hide really well that need done but it will be all good once Im finished with it.
However, needless to say I don’t think the Speakmans in OH will want to ever see me again. Yep, that’s right….its story time.
Let me start off by saying that after spending 3+hrs washing and waxing the dually the day before (gotta represent when Im out and about ya know
) only to drive 6+hrs in pouring rain didn’t make me all too happy but the weather isn’t anyones fault so whaddya do? Ok, lets back up a little bit… Before I agreed to waste my time/money to purchase the car I spent time on the phone with this cabbage head and to make a long story short I was told (and I quote) “the car has absolutely no rust, 100% unmodified other than a flowmaster muffler, and is in excellent shape”.
So I get to the Speakmans house and meet “Bob” and “Bob jr”. Bob jr is the owner and after a few minutes of greetings my F body expert bud and myself go over to take a look at it. I pop the hood to look things over while he starts at the rear. First thing I notice is the rust that’s forming in the pinch weld where the hoods inner structure is mated to the skin but no big deal as its very minor but I note it none the less to look VERY close at every other location since I was told “no rust”. My bud motions for me to walk to the back of the car and he shows me that the bolt on rear bumper cover support is like swiss cheese from rust at which point things start going down hill.
I turn to Bob jr and ask what the deal is since he said “no rust” and politely (for now) explain that what Im finding isn’t my idea of no rust. He now has a deer in the headlights look similar to what you would prolly get when you tell your best guy bud your not happy as a man and will be having surgery to become a woman shortly. Needless to say Im not happy at this point after spending ~$100 in gas to drive up through a monsoon as well as getting what teeth I have left rattled by I-79s condition west of Pittsburg I see we’re possibly going to have a problem. Keep in mind Im not happy but I haven’t called on red neckerson’s abilities yet either so Im straight faced and to the point but I haven’t raised my voice.
Since I forgot the floor jack I tell Bob jr to hand me the keys so I can pull the car part way up on the trailer so I can look underneath better. He doesn’t want to give up the keys because for some reason he thinks Im going to take off with a non tagged non insured car leaving my dually, trailer, tools and misc stuff behind. Yep, that’s what I had in mind as Im sure Id make it to Mexico from OH before anyone was the wiser. That’s getting off the subject though but you get an idea of the rocket scientist Im dealing with. I get the front of the car up on the trailer and thankfully find the car was Zeibart’d (professionally under coated) at some point which is why the car still has floor boards Im sure. While my bud and myself are under the car with mags lights checking things out Bob jr goes over to converse with Bob sr who’s sitting on the front porch and undoubtedly Bob sr is now concerned that Bob jr has gotten himself into a sticky situation so they both make their way back to the car. After crawling out Bob jr asks “well, whaddya think?” to which I reply “Im not too overly happy right now considering Im finding rust in a “rust free car” which shuts him up for now.
I want to get a better look at the bumper support under the rear of the car so I ignore the two Bob’s attempt at small talk and back the car off the trailer, turn it 180 deg, and back it on again. Needless to say I can now fully see that the rear bumper support isn’t actually supporting anything and in reality the bumper cover is holding it in place. By this time Ive gotten about as aggravated as I can get without being full blown mad. Before I crawl out I ask the two Bobs what the deal is as I reach up and grab a handful of rusted bumper support, yank it off, crawl out, and waive it in front of them.
By now I think the Bobs figure out that the deposit I sent little Bob will be requested to be returned along with me tearing out of their yard in the dually at WOT. Big Bob looks at little Bob and before he can say a word I step within arms reach of little Bob and tell him “BOY, you better have the money I sent you as this is a $3200 car on its best day cause Im finding rust you said wasn’t there”. FYI for you peace lovers out there most ppl with any amount of sack will be ready to scrap if called “boy”, especially in the tone I was using.
Back to the point, at this time big Bob thinks hes gonna save jrs hind end by telling me that “this is a northern car and its in excellent shape” to which I reply “I don’t give a flyin flip what you THINK it’s a fact your son said NO RUST which isn’t debatable no matter if the car is from OH or freakin Mars. No rust is NOT up for debate and means no rust PERIOD”. Bob sr then points to the ~89 convertible vette that’s obviously his and says “look how nice that car is and if you look under it you will find some rust” to which I reply “I don’t give a damn as I wasn’t told that car (pointing to the vette) was rust free but I was told this one didn’t have any (now stabbing index finger into the roof of camaro) as a matter of fact I own a truck that spent most of its life in Anchorage, AK and IT doesn’t have any rust so it doesn’t matter where a car is from it’s a pretty well known fact that no rust means no freaking rust”. Note during this time Im waving the piece of rusted bumper cover support at both of them and basically using to address the Bobs rather than my index finger.
Finally, the light comes on in Bob Sr’s head as and he realizes that jr has obviously misrepresented the car in the rust aspect and probably notes that my voice is getting louder by the second. He turns to Bob jr and says “give the man his deposit back” to which jr replies (and this part isn’t suprising) “I don’t have it….I paid this bill, and that bill, my truck needed this part, and blah, blah, blah…….”. Before he finishes Im in full blown ticked off mode and step into jrs face while keeping one eye on Bob jr and tell him the following… “Lemme tell you something boy!!! You’ve got 500 bucks of my money and a rusty camaro that I don’t want. We are now going to negotiate a better price and if you don’t like it then we’ll all be on Americas Stupidest Criminals over a freakin camaro. You get what Im sayin!?!?!”
By now my car bud is about to freak the hell out as hes still got a few more weeks on probation from a DUI (yes, he knows he’s an idiot but that’s another story) and he can NOT get in any trouble or its off to the clink with him and he knows me well enough to see when things are a few seconds from getting ignorant. Bob Sr is pushing 60 so he could end up with a broken hip or something so he really doesn’t want to scrap. Bob jr is about 5’6” and 105lbs soaking wet so I don’t think he really wants to take the beating he’ll require to get the cops on the way.
Anways, back to the story…. Bob sr speaks up from his stance about 8ft away and asks what it will take to make me happy. While still giving Bob jr the “Im about to go to your hind end” look I tell him that the price being negotiable would be a good start. Bob jr, in his last ditch effort to act like he actually owns a set of nads says “how much are you talking about cause I wont go much lower…”
Sigh…that’s when Id had enough stupidity for one day… I clinched my teeth (tooth?) and said “boy, lemme tell you something and Im done talking.. I’ll go 3500 plus the money you already have from the deposit and not a GD penny more. This car is worth 4 grand on a good day and this aint a good day for it. If you wont take the 3500 cash or give me my deposit back you’ve got a BIG problem on your hands”. About this time my bud looks at Bob sr and with a raised eyebrow says “Dave doesn’t like to talk very long in situations like this and ya better deal with the man…now”. Gotta love buds that have been around you before when situations go very wrong. Anyways, Bob sr actually isn’t a complete moron and tells jr “take the cash so these guys can get on the road”.
End of story…. Sorry to you folks that thought you were gonna witness a hind end kicking story as it didn’t happen but by God it was close IMO. I was ready to flog jr within an inch of his life.
So, cash was exchanged, the rust box loaded, and no dually/trailer donuts were done in the Bobs’ front yard. On the good side of things the car actually runs good after taking jr for a sideways trip down the street with no tags/ins (yeah, jr bout crapped himself when I pulled out of their driveway, went WOT, and turned the car completely sideways while never lifting.. YEEE HAWWWW!!).
Final thoughts that should be pretty freakin obvious for anyone getting ready to sell a car be they up north, down south, or on Mars… If you say “no rust” there had better be NO RUST or at the very least minor surface crap NOT the prospective buyer being able to remove substantial parts of the cars structure with his bare hands due to the affor mentioned “no rust”. No rust means just that no matter what planet youre on.
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"Scars are tattoos with stories and a purpose....I have lots of scars"
GMC Syclone #614 11.96@ 113.42
Syclone
I beat that truck unmercfully, drove it like I hated it (I did hate it), hauled 1700lbs of concrete blocks on it, stood it on its rear bumper wheel'n, stood it on its front bumper wheel'n, had it in the air ~5ft wheel'n, pulled the tractor back up from over the hill(s) after many mowing the grass drunk/naked "mishaps", and all the time it never failed to start, stop, or get me where I needed to go. It looked like a complete pile and there wasnt a straight/non rusty panel on it but I could put 10 bucks worth of gas in it and drive it for two weeks to work and back with gas left over for fun in the mud. Siiiggggghhhh.....
